Why Young Adults Feel “Behind” in Life (and How Therapy Can Help)
- Kristin Kurian
- Oct 5
- 3 min read
If you’ve ever said to yourself, “I feel behind in life,” you’re not alone. Many young adults quietly carry this feeling, the sense that everyone else has it figured out while they’re still trying to find their footing. You may look at friends who seem more successful, confident, or sure of their path and wonder, What’s wrong with me?
This is one of the most common struggles I hear in young adult therapy. Between social media comparisons, financial pressures, and changing life milestones, it’s easy to lose your sense of direction. But feeling “behind” doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it simply means you’re human and navigating a time of enormous transition.
Why So Many Young Adults Feel Behind in Life
There are many reasons young adults today experience this quiet sense of falling short:
Social media comparison. Constant highlight reels make it easy to compare your real life to someone else’s best moments and feel behind in life, even when you’re on your own unique path.
Unrealistic timelines. Many still measure success by outdated milestones — graduate by 22, settle down by 30 — even though life now unfolds in far more flexible ways.
Financial stress. Rising costs of living and student debt make traditional milestones harder to reach, adding shame and pressure.
Transitions and uncertainty. Moving out, changing jobs, or redefining relationships can all trigger a sense of instability or “not being where I should be.”
Feeling behind in life often stems from comparison and pressure — not from who you actually are or what you’re capable of.
What Therapy Offers Instead
Young adult therapy creates a safe, supportive space to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what truly matters to you. Instead of measuring progress against others, therapy helps you find a pace that fits your season of life.
Here’s how therapy supports young adults who feel behind:
Reframing expectations. You’ll explore where your beliefs about success came from and decide whether they still serve you.
Building resilience. Learn tools for managing anxiety, uncertainty, and change so that challenges don’t derail your confidence.
Softening comparison. Therapy helps you step out of the endless loop of measuring yourself against others.
Navigating transitions. Whether it’s a new city, job, or relationship, therapy provides structure and support while you adjust.
By slowing down and looking inward, you start to see that you’re not actually behind, you’re simply on your own timeline.
Why Young Adults Benefit Most
The 20s and 30s are full of identity exploration, new responsibilities, and sometimes, unresolved childhood patterns that resurface under stress.
Young adult therapy helps with:
Identity development. Understanding who you are apart from others’ expectations.
Stronger relationships. Exploring how past experiences shape how you connect and communicate.
Self-esteem and belonging. Learning to value yourself as you are, not through comparison or productivity.
Healing old wounds. Processing unresolved emotions that keep you feeling “stuck” or “behind.”
Longer or more intensive sessions can also help when you want deeper support, allowing space for reflection, processing, and skill-building without rushing.
Your Path Forward
If you’ve been feeling behind in life, take heart, you don’t need to have it all figured out to move forward. You simply need a space where you can slow down, understand yourself more deeply, and reconnect to your own values and goals.
At A New Perspective Psychotherapy, I offer young adult therapy in Toronto and online across Ontario to help you navigate transitions, manage anxiety, and rebuild self-confidence at your own pace.
Ready to let go of comparison and feel more grounded? Schedule a consultation today.
About Kristin Kurian, RP, MA, MHSc, CCTP
Kristin Kurian is a Registered Psychotherapist based in Toronto and the founder of A New Perspective Psychotherapy. She supports young adults through life transitions, anxiety, and self-esteem challenges with a compassionate and empowering approach. Kristin integrates evidence-based modalities such as IFS and DBT to help clients build self-awareness, process past experiences, and feel more grounded in who they are. Sessions are available in-person and online across Ontario
