Procrastination Isn’t Laziness - Understanding What’s Really Going On And How Therapy Can Help
- kjierstien
- Oct 13
- 3 min read
If you’ve ever told yourself, “I’m so lazy,” after putting something off - pause right there.
You’re not lazy. You’re human.
Procrastination is something I see every week in my work with teens and young adults. It’s not a motivation problem - it’s an emotional one.
Therapy for procrastination helps you understand what’s actually happening beneath the surface: the fear, the pressure, the freeze response in your nervous system that makes starting feel impossible, even when you want to.
When we shift from shame to understanding, procrastination becomes less of a flaw and more of a message - one we can learn to listen to with compassion.
Why We Procrastinate (and Why It’s Not Laziness)
Procrastination is rarely about poor time management or lack of willpower. More often, it’s the nervous system trying to keep you safe from something that feels too big, too uncertain, or too overwhelming.
Here’s what that can look like in real life:
Overwhelm. The task feels huge, so your brain protects you by freezing.
Perfectionism. You want to do it just right, so starting feels impossible.
Fear of failure. If you don’t start, you can’t fall short - even though avoidance creates more stress.
Low emotional energy. When you’re anxious, burned out, or mentally exhausted, focus is harder to access.
Executive functioning challenges. For neurodivergent people, especially those with ADHD or autism, starting, organizing, or prioritizing takes extra effort — not less motivation.
When you understand procrastination as a stress or safety response, everything changes. Your brain isn’t broken — it’s doing its best to protect you from discomfort.
Seeing Procrastination Through a Neurodivergent-Affirming Lens
For many neurodivergent teens and young adults, procrastination is part of how their brain regulates focus and emotion. Traditional advice like “just do it” or “try harder” often misses the point.
In neurodivergent therapy, we take a curious and compassionate look at what your brain needs to
function well.
That might include:
Creating systems that match your energy and focus patterns
Using sensory or visual supports to make tasks feel approachable
Learning body-based grounding techniques to regulate overwhelm
Building self-trust through small, achievable actions
Redefining productivity to include rest, recovery, and reflection
This kind of support moves away from fixing and toward understanding — working with your brain instead of fighting against it.
How Therapy for Procrastination Helps
Therapy for procrastination goes deeper than quick tips or productivity hacks. It helps you explore why you get stuck and gives you tools to move through it safely.
In therapy, we might:
Identify what your procrastination is trying to protect you from
Work with parts of you that fear failure or judgment (IFS)
Build emotional regulation strategies to ease anxiety and overwhelm
Practice small, compassionate steps forward rather than all-or-nothing goals
Explore executive functioning supports that actually fit your lifestyle
Therapy becomes a space to slow down, get curious, and learn that procrastination doesn’t mean something is wrong with you — it means something in you needs care.
Why Teens and Young Adults Struggle Most
This stage of life is full of pressure - deadlines, transitions, big decisions, and constant comparison. It’s no wonder so many teens and young adults feel paralyzed by expectation.
Through therapy for procrastination, we explore the connection between perfectionism, self-worth, and fear of letting others down. We also work on realistic pacing, emotional safety, and practical strategies for managing school, work, and relationships - without the burnout.
Your Path Forward
If procrastination has you feeling stuck, anxious, or guilty, therapy can help you understand what’s happening underneath and find new ways to begin.
At A New Perspective Psychotherapy, I offer therapy for procrastination in Toronto and online across Ontario. Together, we’ll explore how your nervous system, emotions, and environment interact — and build systems that work with your brain, not against it.
You’re not lazy. You’re human. Let’s work together to turn self-blame into self-understanding. Schedule a consultation today.
About Kristin Kurian, RP
Kristin Kurian is a Registered Psychotherapist and founder of A New Perspective Psychotherapy in Toronto. She helps teens and young adults navigate anxiety, perfectionism, and procrastination with warmth and curiosity. Drawing from IFS, DBT, and trauma-informed approaches, Kristin helps clients understand their patterns, build self-compassion, and develop tools that support their unique nervous systems. She offers in-person and online therapy across Ontario.
