What If Rigid Eating Patterns Once Made Sense?
- Kristin Kurian
- 2 days ago
- 2 min read
By the time eating starts to feel rigid or stressful, many people are already frustrated with themselves.
They might think:
“Why can’t I just relax?”
“Why does this feel so intense?”
“Why do I need so much control?”
It’s easy to turn eating struggles into something to fight.
But what if rigid eating patterns didn’t appear out of nowhere?What if they began as a way to cope?
Not perfectly. Not sustainably. But understandably.
How Rigid Eating Patterns Can Begin During Stress
For many people, rigid eating patterns begin during periods of stress, uncertainty, or emotional overwhelm.
Structure can feel steady.
Rules can feel calming.
Predictability can feel safe.
In those moments, narrowing focus to eating can reduce noise internally. It creates something measurable when other parts of life feel uncertain.
Over time, what starts as rigidity can move into what is described as disordered eating, particularly when flexibility decreases and anxiety increases. But the starting point is often protection, not pathology.
Why It Feels Hard to Let Go
One reason these patterns can feel difficult to shift is that they often bring short-term relief.
They may:
Reduce anxiety temporarily
Create a sense of accomplishment
Offer structure during chaos
Provide distraction from difficult emotions
If something lowers stress, even briefly, it makes sense that your nervous system would repeat it.
The challenge is that strategies designed for short-term relief can become costly over time.
Fighting Yourself Often Makes It Louder
When rigid eating patterns become stressful, the instinct is often to push harder or criticize yourself.
Shame increases.Pressure builds.Fear of losing control intensifies.
But if the pattern developed to manage overwhelm, attacking it can increase the very anxiety it was trying to contain.
Understanding does not mean approving.It means creating enough safety to look at what’s underneath.
A Different Question to Ask
Instead of asking, “How do I stop this?” It can be more helpful to ask, “What is this trying to protect me from?”
Sometimes rigidity around eating protects against:
Fear of failure
Fear of uncertainty
Emotional intensity
Pressure to perform
Looking at eating patterns through this lens shifts the conversation from self-criticism to curiosity.
And curiosity is often the beginning of change.
Making Space for Compassion
You don’t have to like the pattern to approach it with care.
You might gently notice:
When does rigidity increase?
What feels threatening in those moments?
What kind of support might feel safer than pressure?
Rigid eating patterns rarely begin because someone wants to harm themselves. They usually begin because someone is trying to manage something difficult.
That distinction matters.
If You Recognize Yourself or a Loved One Here
Rigid eating patterns often reflect effort to cope with stress, pressure, or uncertainty.
Recognizing that effort doesn’t minimize the impact. It simply replaces shame with understanding.
If and when the timing feels right, support is available.
About the Author
Kristin Kurian is a Registered Psychotherapist and the founder of A New Perspective Psychotherapy in Toronto. She works with teens, young adults, and parents navigating anxiety, perfectionism, eating-related concerns, and life transitions. Kristin’s approach is compassionate and trauma-informed, helping clients understand coping patterns as meaningful responses to stress rather than personal failures. She offers both ongoing therapy and extended sessions, depending on a client’s needs and readiness.
